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This is why you shouldn’t walk around in Vegas

The title says it all. I am a complete dummy and I grabbed one of my best friends who might even be a bigger dummy than me and we set sail into the high limit Slots room. You all know Bluff I don't have to introduce him, but I do have to introduce him to Slots. As you know, he really only plays craps and other table games so he does not understand the rush of a $10 spin possibly turning into $1 million. We scavenged all of the dumpsters in the area to find enough hundred dollar bills to feed into enough high stake slot machines to give ourselves the best chance possible. Which is of course still not a very good chance because when you gamble you will lose. The only form of gambling you cannot lose is watching me gamble so you might as well subscribe and like the video. I love you all so much if you watch this entire thing, you're beautiful and if you didn't, you're also beautiful. Thank you guys so much for everything. I will never be able to thank you enough. YOURE GORGEOUS! #money #gambling #slots #bluff #casino #comedy Brettski leaned against the slot machine with the nonchalance of a man who'd danced with both fortune and failure. Bluff, wide-eyed and clutching a crisp stack of bills, stood beside him like a rookie gunslinger. "You ready?" Brettski asked, grinning as he lit a toothpick between his teeth. Bluff nodded, slipping a thousand into the glowing beast in front of them. “I still don’t get it. How do you *teach* someone slots?” “You don’t,” Brettski said, hitting the *Max Bet* button with flair. “You teach 'em *how to ride the chaos.*" The reels spun, flashing symbols that blurred into neon storms. Cherry. BAR. 7. Miss. They moved machine to machine like gamblers on a pilgrimage. On one, they hit a quick $600 win. Bluff hollered. Brettski didn’t blink. “You don’t get excited till you’re up five figures,” Brettski said, sliding over to a buffalo-themed slot. “That’s when the machine fears you.” By hour two, Bluff was down to $200. Brettski, somehow, was up $400. They sat in silence at a Chinese dragon machine, the tension electric. Bluff cracked his knuckles. “Alright. This is the one.” Brettski nodded, feeding in his last bill. “Let’s light it up.” The reels spun. One dragon. Two. Three. Lights exploded. Bells rang. The screen flashed *BONUS ROUND UNLOCKED*. They looked at each other, stunned. “Dude…” Bluff whispered. “Did we just—?” But before they could celebrate, the machine glitched. The screen froze mid-flash. A low electronic hum replaced the music. A casino attendant approached, walkie-talkie crackling. “Sorry fellas,” she said, frowning at the screen. “Gotta get tech down here.” Bluff’s mouth dropped open. Brettski’s toothpick fell to the carpet. They stared at the frozen jackpot numbers glowing faintly behind the error message. And just like that, everything hung in the balance.

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